Friday, October 23, 2009

Top Ten List

Well, our stay in Baltimore is winding down - we have our last class on Sunday to review for our big test which we take on Tuesday evening. We've successfully worked our way through first aid for diabetic comas, heat stroke, hypo(and er)thermia, altered mental state illnesses (we paid particular attention to this one guys since we know who we tend to cruise with!) and even childbirth (which we're REALLY hoping to never need let me tell you!!!) So on Tuesday hopefully we will become certified as emergency first responders - as lay persons, we have no duty to act so be nice to us! Vicki we did ask about your safety pin concept and Norm, sorry to say, our instructor did tell us it would work as a last resort - but luckily there are better ways to keep the tongue out of the way and open the airways. For the price of a mere couple beers we just might show Vicki those techniques!!

We've certainly learned quite a bit while we have been here in Baltimore but more than anything we have learned about urban fashion chic while riding the numerous metros and buses around and through the seedier sides of Baltimore. So while we can't communicate all we have learned about first aid, we did think it would be fun to let you all know what is "IN" or "NOT" in the world of ghetto fashion (and before you think this has anything to do with race - believe me it doesn't - these rules are universal!!!) so here is our "top ten list:" (Please note that we have no pictures to back any of this up as we wanted to escape the bus or metro with our lives intact but trust me, could I make this stuff up???)

10) New York Yankee hats ARE acceptable as long as they are too large for your head and worn sideways at a rakish angle (and only if they are not in the traditional blue and white team colors);

9) Big hair and hoop earrings down to your shoulders did NOT go out of fashion in the 70s;

8) Anything bright purple may be worn at all times (boxers, sneakers, pants, shirts, glasses, toupees, mohawks, you get the idea) - in fact Ravens gear may be worn to any event including but not limited to formal affairs;

7) Suitcase purses (the bigger the better) in vinyl, plastic or any other material that can be wiped off with a handi-wipe is all the rage for carrying your semi-automatic, pepper spray and condoms;

6) Dread locks are not just for Jamaica anymore (nor are they just for men or for persons of color);

5) 17 year olds are not completely dressed without at least one drooling infant/young child attached to their hips;

4) Cell phones, MP3 players and pagers are required accessories and the more of them you have, the cooler you are - especially if you can be using all three at the same time, after all, why miss out on that drug deal;

3) As a woman, your nails should be at least as long as the length of the rest of your hand and each nail must be decorated differently, ie a skull on one nail, a butterfly on the next, a picture of your chihuahua on the next......and so on;

2) The larger the woman, the less clothes she must wear and the tighter they must be while conversely the skinnier the man, the baggier his pants and hoodie sweatshirt must be;

and the number one ghetto fashion rule IS:

1) Black stocking caps are not just for robberies anymore!!!

As you can maybe tell, Doug and I fit in very well here.....Wednesday can't come soon enough!!!

But seriously after spending a great almost three weeks here, we are getting serious wanderlust and Gypsies is ready to kick up her heels and head south. The weather has been much better - sunnier and warmer so we've been dealing but it is just time to be back out on the water. We've had some gorgeous sunrises and sunsets but we are anxious to be out in places where there are no buildings around when the sun sinks behind the horizon. Tonight we are having our friends Ray and Denise over to Gypsies for our last batch of mahi caught in the Bahamas and some key lime pie!!! All work and no play.........

Sunrise Over Baltimore Harbor 1
Sunrise Over Baltimore Harbor 2
Sunrise Over Baltimore Harbor 3


  1. When shopping for hats I have tried to find one of those that has the bill offset to one side but haven't found any yet. Where do they buy these? If you find out, pick one up for me.
    Test Tuesday, cast off the lines Wednesday. Hurry!!! I think I'm in an altered mental state.

  2. Beautiful pictures - Glad you're having such a wonderful cruise! Thanks for the laughs about ghetto dress! A cop told me about walking behind a guy trying to run from robbing a 7-11 but his pants were too low and the shotgun in one leg kept it straight. He and his partner followed him laughing like crazy for half a block before arresting.